Thursday, June 23, 2011


life is good today. and yesterday.
i thought i'd share that b/c it's so easy to just bitch and complain.
it's my guy's birthday.
i have work for a while, so i don't need to freak out about $
the sun is out
i made a new contact that could help me out in my career
it's summertime in vancouver... isn't this what i came here for?
i need to spend more time recounting things i'm thankful for.
however, i think that venting on paper or via blog can also be a healthy release.
a little of this, a little of that.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

the internet is for porn

what has happened to our imagination. what has happened to just finding something sexy because we're turned on by it... not because someone else has told us it's appealing. why do we let the media form our opinions and desires.
is it so bad to step away from it and admit that this is fucked up?
i have nothing against sex. or watching sex, or gay sex or straight sex or threesomes or orgies or whatever whatever. have sex... it's fun and exciting!
but how about some originality? how about something real?
just because something is socially acceptable doesn't mean it's a good thing.
we need to clear the sexual slate and open our minds a little.
that's just how i feel.
unfortunately the world is mostly small minded.
i live for the exceptions.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

we meet again

i really thought i wouldn't come back here - but i always say that. almost made it a whole year without blogging...10 months? anyhoo - i avoid blogging at times for fear of being discovered. or worry that i'm sharing my secrets with strangers and not with the people closest to me. i'm in a relationship now. a good relationship. one that i want to keep. i worry that the discovery of this blog could cause some complications...
anyhoo, i'm a little rusty. i want to start on some new writing projects. i figure if i start blogging here and there, my creative juices may start flowing in the right direction.
i want to make something from my trip to honduras. i keep writing and reading and walking away and then trying to rediscover what that was, what i wanted to share... i feel a bit stuck. i'm in a city that doesn't feel like home, living with a boy who does feel like home - so i survive... but the rest is pretty ho-hum. great in moments, but not familiar. not toronto. and i won't move back, because i'm following that gut instinct i had... try to follow through.
i'm trying to do something here. if you want something done, you have to do it yourself. the older i get, and the more others rely on me, the harder it is to take risks. especially when your partner in crime is terrified of risks. so what do you do? push. i try to push.
as per usual, my first blog back is a ramble. more for myself really.
how will i keep myself as myself. how does one retain their youth and inner magic. why is love such an amazing drug, but also a trap of sorts.... i wouldn't trade it, but how does my independent self survive within it??
it's sunny. i should go outside and enjoy being alive. maybe something will come to me.