am i getting there?

yesterday at my old place of work rehearsing for a play that opens tonight.
the bartender, whom i hadn't seen since i stopped serving there said:
"i've been hearing your name floating around - you must be getting a lot of gigs lately?"

what?! okay.... sure....

apparently my name is floating around...
it's nice to know i exist.

will power

i am sitting upstairs in his house.... resisting the chocolate brownie and pie that sits downstairs on the counter. it's for everyone. the roommate brings these things home.
what is it about food? why do i love it so much? why do i think about it? shouldn't it just be for fueling our bodies? why is it nearly as alluring as sex? and with that in mind... what's the deal with sex? cravings cravings cravings
food
sex
drugs
alchohol
attention
influence
admiration

it starts with chocolate brownie and continues somewhere past fame, fortune and ultimate world influence....

hypothetically speaking...

if one were to go to a random social gathering, and discover that one had slept with 3/4 of the heterosexual men attending.... would that make one a slut?
even if there were only 4 heterosexual men in attendance?
i don't want an answer....
i mean... one doesn't.

people.... grrrr

i hate it when stressed out people decide to smear their stressed out-ness all over you. why can't they just breathe and meditate or something? why can't they just vent to a friend? why can't they blog? or have sex? or something!!! why do they have to send emails reeking with stinky stress so that their anxiety leaps out of the screen and all over your body - infiltrating your pores until you want to scream!!!!... aaarrrrrgggghhhhhh!!!!!
i feel like kicking someone.
i was having a really productive day too.
goddamn people.

so you think you can not watch 'so you think you can dance?'

i saw this show for the first time - clips of it - presented to me by neenia and bedroom prince.
it sort of turns me on.
i sort of want to make love to it.
i thought i was safe.

no one is safe!! stand back from your television... it will get you!
thank god i don't have cable.

it's been too long!

i feel a slight pang of guilt for abandoning my blog... i have excuses!! and sort of good ones!
here goes:
excuse #1 - i had a show i was writing, rehearsing for and performing in... it's now done
excuse #2 - i started a new job... yay! still not enough hours, but it's something!
excuse #3 - my sister was visiting me for 8 days - which was lots of fun - but again, taking away from blogging time
excuse #4 - i'm getting laid..... did i write that out loud?

hey... remember the time i wrote all about not wanting/ believing in a relationship right now b/c i was so fucked up over men/boys in general...
he he...
oh dear.
i'm smitten.... as a kitten? are kitten's really smitten? b/c my cat has never been smitten... even when he was a kitten - he's always been kind of a jerk actually...

but speaking of fucked up.... one of my exes who was living out east, then was living out west (so i only ran into him maybe once a year max - at which point we usually fell into old habits and had much unneccessary drama ensue) is now living a mere 2 hours from me.
wtf? but this time - i don't feel like it will have the same effect on me...
yet it is somewhat annoying.