5 days

i'm leaving everything in 5 days... or 6? well, close enough.
i was going to sell my second guitar today to a stranger.
we made the meeting.
he offered cash.
i walked out of my apartment, guitar in hand.
the guitar that was my mom's.
the guitar my first boyfriend taught me to play on.
the guitar that is slightly out of tune.
the guitar i never play anymore.

i couldn't do it.
i walked half way to starbucks where we were to meet.
stopped in the street, looked at the guitar, turned around and went home.
cried.

i've sold my furnature, my bike, my cd's, my tv, my dvd player.
i've given away my clothes, my dishes...
i just couldn't bear to part with one more thing.

at least not today.

i'm feeling like a bit of a spaz.
but i wouldn't have forgiven myself for selling that guitar to a stranger.

sometimes things are important.

it's going to be alright

so i'm feeling better.
less freaked.
less annoyed.
more excited.
whew.
maybe it's the 'when harry met sally' that i indulged in.
maybe it's the bottle of red.
maybe it's the funtime collage i made (yay).

it's something.
i leave in one month.
crazy times.
i told my agency.... no guarantee's that they'll take me upon my return... but that's okay. i don't know if i will return.
but no jumping to conclusions. one step at a time.

my parents are going to take my cat while i'm gone. i'm sooooo relieved about that! so i'll get to see him at christmas! i can't believe i'll only have 3 more weeks with him! my love.

so much is changing!
gahhhhhh!