Friday, August 22, 2008

this place is warping me....

i'm exhausted.
i've doubled up on jobs - actually more like trippled up - trying to fill in for volunteers who've left - and it's exhausting.
also learned that the head of the organization i'm working for (whose incompetant in most ways) may be a pedophile.
not jumping to conclusions yet though.

and i've been living with boy for 2 weeks alone.
we're friends.
i don't think i'm even female to him.
or i'm just soooo very old that i don't count.
i might as well be a chair for all he's concerned.
but we're friends.

could you put your shirt on while your being friends with me then?
and not be so attractive?
i don't know if i'm attracted b/c he shows absolutely no interest and i want to be in the game, or i'm actually interested.
there have been those moments of 'what do you mean by that' and 'do you realize what the hell you're saying' in my head.
too many.
i feel like i'm in highschool and have a crush on my male friend who is constantly talking about 'girls'.
it's all very highschool... or first year university... one of the two.
like a movie staring hillary duff.

i really have to stop thinking about it.
he leaves in less than a week and i'll be living with ugly people.
the way it should be.

also - like this is really a huge problem.... there are children starving in the world...
like next door.
my sense of humour has become really twisted.
for example, he and i think we should start a game where the first person to see a dead animal gets points.
cats and dogs are low.
cows and horses are high.

creepy and disgusting.
but what do you do?