sex? what's that?

so i thought i had this amazing sex life.... i did have a pretty great sex life... i thought i was having better sex than the majority of the people out there... until a couple days ago. now i'm having better sex than everybody.
i had no idea.
i've learned something new.
advice. don't judge a book by it's cover.

my fat cat

i put my cat on a diet about a month ago. he's still fat. why is he still fat? the vet doesnt understand why i can't reduce my pets weight.... i think he's eating out. i think he's getting friendly with the neighbors and eating their cat food. it's a mystery.... maybe he just needs to go for a jog 3 or 4 times a week. how do you motivate a cat to get in shape.... teach him little kitty crunches?
whenever he walks in the door he loudly demands food. i think he's addicted to food. i think he has a dependancy problem. he'll meow for food right after he's finished eating. maybe he really wants something else. maybe he needs a girlfriend. or maybe a boyfriend. i think maybe he's gay. maybe if he came out of the closet he would feel a sense of relief and would shed those extra pounds.
i have no answers.

i thought i might become celebate. but then i had sex. oh well.

desperate for a call

i've been single for not even two weeks.... i have a date - if he calls me. i'm not even that into him, but why am i so obsessed with the phone call? where's the call? why hasnt he called? why do i even care? maybe i just need to get.... attention.
those things we take for granted when in a relationship....
out of the relationship there is freedom, exhilaration, independence.... anxiety - obsessiveness....
or maybe i just need to sleep.
if someone could just fall in love with me once or twice a week....