i'm writing. well, more like copying.
i'm going through all my journals from my year and typing up the good/interesting parts in hopes that i'll be inspired to create some amazing story.
the thing is - it's kind of an amazing story just the way it is.
well, maybe not amazing - but interesting.
so what the hell am i going to do with it?
the plan is to apply for a grant. but i have to tell them what i'm doing to get the grant. what am i doing?
i used to be able to fully visualize my end product... it would always change - but at least it was there.
i'm waiting for my 'aha!' moment.
as i get older these projects drag out longer and longer.
maybe it's b/c my life becomes more layered.
i don't know what i'm trying to say.
i wish i could just publish an edited version of my journals. and they would be super relevant and people would feel like they'd been somewhere after reading.
i think i think too much.
i think i can't wait til i get to toronto.
i think i'm not going to be able to ride on the interestingness of my past year for much longer...
i think i hate that valentines day is in a week and a half.
i think i probably could have done with just the one cup of coffee.
i think i want attention.
maybe i should put on some music and dance over-enthusiastically in my living room and it will all be better.