a day off???

why is it that my days off work are never actually days off? i think i may be a workaholic at heart. i've gone out of my way to only be at work 4 days a week - but my "days off" aren't actually that less busy.
for example: today is wednesday - wednesday is my sunday. today i have a meeting at noon, a rehearsal at 2-4, another meeting at 430ish and i'm going to see an apartment at 7pm.
i think i'm incapable of just chilling the f out.
when i actually have a day where i'm not doing anything, i usually feel lazy and depressed.... i'm like "go go go go go go go!!" the only way for me to chill is to leave town. and i am! montreal for 3 nights.... won't it be loverly?

it's been so long!

ahhh! i haven't blogged in almost 2 weeks! i was starting to feel deprived! it's like life just attacked me and swallowed up all of my time. i think i'm emerging from that though...
i'm moving apartments in a month - about which i'm super excited. i will be living on my own for the first time ever! just me and my cat. who currently has diarhia - just a side note... what does one do about their pet if they are sick, but not sick enough to warrant spending $600+ on tests and such things at the vet?
okay, back to topic: moving out... yay! no more bed bugs! no more stupid landlord! my own space all to my self and my sickly cat!! wheee!!
now i just need to find a place.... i should probably get on that.

anyhoo - next on the agenda: being busy, but still trying to have a social life... is this possible?? probably not really! ahhh!! i haven't seen my friends in a long time. i only really see my boyfriend, my co workers, and occassionally my roomie (but only b/c she is also a co-worker). i need to find more me-time. me-time and friend-time should be more of a priority.
step 1 of me-time: blogging... check
step 1 of friend time: have drink with friend... check (i'm going for a drink with bedroom prince tonight.
okay. so i'm getting there.

third thing on agenda: becoming famous.... working on it. i got cast in my first student film yesterday - i was pretty excited. small step, but a step. i'm also in two short plays in a valentines week show - so that's something. no money - but babysteps... good times.

fourth thing on agenda: not being a freak in my relationship. not sure if that's possible. hopefully my exceptionally patient and thoughtful boyfriend will continue to put up with all my walls, freakouts, stresses and general irrational behaviours.

so i have a few things.
these sound like new years type resolutions.
oh well - i had to give into it at some point, yes?

high expectations

it sucks when people you care about act like self centred jerks. it also sucks when people who hold a level of responsibility don't live up to their duties.

i find that human nature is often letting me down.
this makes me sad.
it also pisses me off.

yet under stress or pressure - the world really turns into lord of the flies, doesn't it? when i first read that book i thought - "that's not true, people aren't that self serving!"
but they are.

booourns to that!

too much to blog about

i feel like i should be blogging.
my mind is clogging up from lack of release.
i haven't even been journaling that much.
it's like i have a backlog of stuff that needs to come out of my brain and i need like five hours to purge it all.

i didn't make any solid resolutions.
maybe just one resolution.

to be true to myself and do what i need/want to do in as many moments as possible to be the me-est me humanly possible.

how's that?

i suppose that would include blogging/writing more.

i'm getting on that.