i feel slightly ill. i started a 30 day cleanse yesterday. it's kicking my ass.
i felt blah all day today - until i went to work. i was dreading work. i wanted to sit at home and mope. but then i went to my job, and i remembered "hey, i like my job!" unfortunately i got a headache and the last hour and a half was a bit tedious - but not b/c of the work.
my bf and i had a conversation last night. about fears. about us. we have these conversations sometimes. they are good b/c they connect us. i think he's a wonderful person... a wonderful person for me. i'm waiting for the day that i can believe in fairytales again... that i can believe in "love conquering all" and "meant to be" and "soulmates". he's worthy of all these things - but i'm still cynical.
it's hard to restore beliefs 100% when they've been shaken. i used to believe in things so strongly, with such conviction. now i protect myself. i don't committ. i wait and see. that's not good enough. how do i get it back?