more than words

So I’m getting all nervous and paranoid about this guy b/c he’s actually nice. Like he treats me nicely (he cleans, cooks for me, pays for drinks, provides me with a clean toothbrush) and doesn’t have to point out every time he does (like my narcissistic “I’m such a great catch – aren’t I? aren’t i?” ex boyfriend).

I met this guy online. Weird, but so far okay. He makes me breakfast in the morning. He sends me home with ttc tokens and homemade soup. He invites me to concerts. He’s good in bed. He “we’s” me – which freaks me out a bit. He plays guitar, which is like porn for me. He compliments me. A lot. He notices and seems to appreciate little details about me.

Last night, on the couch, I started pulling the bobby pins out of my hair (I always wear bobby pins to keep my hair out of my face). He lightheartedly mentioned that the other night in bed he rolled over onto one of my ‘clips’ and it freaked him out until he realized what it was.

He mentions how he was thinking about me in specifics: “I was thinking what character you would play in a movie” or “I was thinking about how you like to tell a whole anecdote for what most people will just leave as a comment” or “ I was thinking about you teaching, and what that would be like”. He wants to take me snowboarding.

I’ve been stressed b/c it’s still very, very early. Just dating. But sleeping together. I wonder if I should still go out with other people. I wonder if I could sleep with someone else without feeling like I’m breaking some unwritten rule. We haven’t had the “exclusive talk”.

This morning (after I had agreed to come back to his place this evening) I rolled over, looked at his bedside table and saw a hair clip. The hair clip he was telling me about.

It wasn’t mine.