new developments

i slept at my friends house after a night out of drinking. in an unusual turn of events, we did not have sex. this is progress.
i read at an open mic. just a story. it went over well. one step closer to standup.
i stayed at the boys house last night. i woke up without the usual anxiety.

all these things are small progressions for me. i was having a coffee on college today, writing in my journal - still feeling stuck. in limbo. something weighing me down but not sure what.

then i got a call from my ex. the ex with all the expectations. the ex whom i care about but who drains my energy at least 50% of the time. the ex whom i feel like i can't quite shake off. the ex who needs to be my friend.

he got a job out of the country. he'll be gone for six months at a time. he's leaving in less than two weeks.

i'm happy for him, but also happy for me.

a weight has been lifted.
i feel like there should be some sort of celebration.
it's like leaving home after highschool and realizing that there's no way your parents have any idea or control over what you are doing.
freedom.