lazy lazy bored bored

i've let a month go by with no blogging. bad me. not as bad as the rest of you (skinny excepted)... but bad. (insert finger wagging here)

it's just those february blahs. topped with living back with my parents in my home town where i have barely any social life. topped with the fact that i have not been involved in any sort of theatre or performance activity in sooooo long. i'm an actor. really? prove it.

i know that this step is just as important as all the other steps. the rest time. the 'save hypothetical money' time. the down time.

i'm bored with down time. i'm bored with this town. i'm bored with myself.

but next week i start a temp office job. i'll be playing the part of 'receptionist'. if i describe it like some sort of live experimental theatre series i feel much better about it. the costumes are great. haven't met the supporting cast yet. hoping there might be a romance that gets gradually revealed through season one. hoping the series gets cancelled after one season.
i'd hate to get type cast.

listen to me. i'm imbalanced. i live in a weird little world inside my head where it's actually all a movie or a stage play. i actually rearrange the events of my day in my head as they're happening to create a more succinct, audience friendly format. i think being around 'normal' people in a 'normal' world is revealing my inner strangeness. i think i hide it pretty well though.

oh god get me out of here. the plan is to move to vancouver... after a summer in toronto... but is that where i belong? i feel like hercules... singing that "find where i belong" song. except i'm not in as good of shape... i am going to the pool tomorrow... swimming laps is a start.... but seriously - one needs a personal trainer and nutritionist to get disney-hot.
i've lost track of my thought. maybe it's time for bed.

ugh. to sleep perchance to dream... perchance to wake up and actually be stimulated by life for a full day or more....

it's like i used up my big bag of interesting already. it's all or nothing, isn't it.

well. rambley ramble-pants. i thought i had a point. i need to see a shrink. that's my point. but for now i will just vent in blog format. lucky readers.
who reads this anyway? aside from my fellow bloggees... i sometimes wonder if ex boyfriends or ex boyfriends girlfriends or old colleagues, or random people i once knew somehow know this is me and are privy to all my inner thoughts. i would assume they'd get bored and eventually stop reading... i count on that so i don't have to over censor myself. not that i would... or care... really.
just curious..... show yourselves!!! .... hmm. step away from the computer.

see.
see what this place is doing to me!? if i was tom hanks in castaway i'd be in much worse shape than befriending a soccer ball. i'd have married the soccer ball and had soccer ball children and then started a touring family theatre company for the coconut trees.

i keep feeling it's time to wrap this blog up. wrap it up. that's a wrap.

just one more thing... actually i have no other thing.... i just feel as though i haven't propperly concluded. maybe a quote.... (thinking....)....
nope. nothing. sorry.
the end.