crush

okay. so it's been nearly a month since my last blog. not cool, i know.
but i'm working 9-5 like dolly parton, and i'm writing in my journal again....and i've been drunk the past 4 weekends. maybe more.

so now that my excuses are over...

i have a crush on a boy at my office/ my dad's office.
at first i thought he was really young, not b/c he looks young, but b/c he's a student - so i wasn't allowing myself to actually have the crush - seeing as my crushes on younger boys were becoming a habit.

however, i was wrong. just found out he is a mere 1 year younger than me. so basically my age. i've been denying myself a propper crush for a month b/c of misinformation. horray! i'm not turning into a coug!

i even started to consider the awkward british guy at the office who reeeaaaally likes me b/c i thought there were no better options. (and when i say awkward, not in a hot hugh grant way - more in an 'i-can't-imagine-having-sex-with-you-unless-i-was-so-drunk-and-needy-and-then-waking-up-in-the-morning-and-being-all-oh-shit-oh-fuck-oh-shit' kind of way).

in all fairness to the brit, the attention was kinda fun - but now i'm quite sure i would never date him ever so i just have potential awkward advances to avoid. but scarily, he was up for consideration...

but back to the subject at hand.
a boy my age who is cute and likely single actually exists. i thought they had all been shot. even if absolutely nothing comes of this b/c i'm his boss' daughter and he's therefore afraid of me(minor issue) - it provides hope.

it's like highschool all over. i have my flirt strategies set out for the week. we're both going to be at the neil young concert this week. unfortunately i'll be going with my dad... not exactly ideal... seeing as this will probably feed his fear of me... but it's fodder for conversation... right?
i don't even know how to do this.
i can't remember the last time i've gone after a guy. i've always just gone for the guys that go for me first.
how lame is that? i'm such a lame-o.
could explain why all my relationships are doomed to fail.
or it could just be my issues with committment.

ahhh...
what a fluffy non-substantial blog.
i guess this is what happens when you move back to a small city and get a real job.
i promise it's only temporary!!!

but while i'm temporarily retarded - i'll try to keep the blogs up to date.