in a shell

i'm floating outside of my body and avoiding.
avoiding responsibility.
but that's not it.
avoiding possibility.
responsibility is easy these days.

i understand hermits.
to a certain extent.

i'm a bit of a liar.
i'm a bit of a failure.
a bit of a success.
i know how to play free falling on the guitar.

i'm getting spring fever and the older men can't cure me. not even the cute ones who sleep on the couch.

i'm trying not to be such a pussy.
i suppose i shouldn't use that derogatory term.
after all, i did just spend seven dollars and fifty cents on a feminist magazine.

i'm left behind.
i've jumped ahead
i'm stalling.
fear of failure.
fear of success.
fear of change.
fear of getting older and all of it just being the same.

and the wrinkles on my face are becoming consistently noticeable.... although when i'm 60 i'll look back and say.
i was so young then.
i was so young.