not so bad

my faith has been partially restored after a visit from the board of directors.
basically they all think the 'director' is a huge problem.
so hopefully things might change for these kids.
in the meantime.... i inquired about adoption.
it's just a thought.
and it would take 3-4 years possibly.
i just feel so bad for these kids.

on a different note - i booked a flight home to kelowna for mid december. so i'll leave the orphanage at the end of november.
one month left.
heading home to a shitty economy. yeehaa!! hopefully i'll still have a job.

ps. i held a monkey. it loved me. i loved it. we loved. it was goodtimes.

some observations

1. i have lice. again.
2. i live in an orphanage.
3. i realized the other day that i´ve had sex a total of 5 times in the year 2008. five.
4. i have no money. i´m in debt for an organization i don´t believe in.
5. i´m going to go buy a frosty to make it all better for about 10 minutes.

feeling a little more sane?

i think i´m going to come back to toronto in the new year.
i finally have a plan a.
plan a is good. much better than 50 plan b´s
i´m not going to adopt a 3 yr old.
i have no money and i still have my things i want to do...
but i know it´s something i may want to do some day... so i feel like i have a reason to try to make-save money and maybe be slightly more of a responsible adult.
only slightly.
i´m having a crazy adventure in nicaragua. i´ve prolonged my vacation another week. i´m avoiding the orphanage.
i still dont want to go back. i do and i dont.
i wish i could just come and go as i pleased... instead of being jailed there.
i will survive.
just like the song.
i´m singing it right now in my head.
and you are too.
haha.

one great thing about central america is the romantic tunes cd´s from the 70´s and 80´s that are always playing in restaurants and busses.
good times.
one can always count on ´total eclipse of the heart´or ´take my breath away´to put a smile on one´s face.

blahdee dah.

i´m getting ready to get my life back. i miss it. two more months to go...

the inevitable

i´ve changed.
that´s certain.
how could i not after this past 4 months.

the question is, how much?
i think i´ll discover that when i get home.
i´m a bit freaked out by this idea.

i´m still the same person - but maybe i´ve just shed some layers.
i prefer to think of it that way.

insane thought

i´m thinking about adopting a 3 yr old.
i haven´t told anyone but stranger traveler people i´ve met on the road.
but.
it´s not actually allowed.
can´t take kids out of honduras.
however,
i´m still going to do some inquiring.

this probably won´t happen.
but i´m thinking about it.
i´m projecting into the possible future in my head.

how weird is that.
who am i??