i've been neglecting my blog... for a couple of reasons.
1. i've been totally bummed out and i thought i might spare the world of my self indulgent whining
2. my ex recently came across my blog - and one can imagine how not good of a situation this was. i've since felt guilty for being myself, and felt the need to censor ... which is retarded b/c i'd finally come to a place of freedom where i felt i didnt have to censor myself....
which leads me to the reason i am returning to my blog
1. i will not censor myself!
that being said... i'd like to make a comment on happiness.
i think that people feel pressured to be happy all the time so that they do not burden others with their moodiness.... especially actors. actors are supposed to be entertaining. when we are not entertaining - we feel that people might not want to be around us. we place our self worth on how entertaining we can be. this is exhausting. when we are in the mood to be entertaining - it is great, it's fun, it's exciting.... but sometimes we just need to be boring. and not feel bad about being boring - because that just makes us depressed about being boring....
am i generalizing?
let's just change all the "we's" to "me".
I got caught in the rain today - and it made me happy.