let down

i fucked up my audition. the one that mattered. well, it was ok. but not good enough. blah!
and on a side note - i had written down a blog to post - b/c i was all worked up about fidelity, and jealousy and monogamy and fantasy and reality and expectations of love. but i'm not so worked up about it anymore. so now it's just there - on a piece of paper. i missed my emotional window to blog.
i hate it when that happens.