i'm confused. i feel like a decision that was mutual has now become my decision alone. i feel like i should be moving forward - but i'm not. i'm still in the same place. and what am i moving forward from? i'm not looking for someone else. i don't want to be in a new or different relationship. i liked my relationship but for various reasons there was a need for time apart.
i think it probably comes down to me being scared shitless to jump into something 100%. i've done that before. i've put my heart completely into one person before. this time i tried to be rational. i tried to hold part of me back so that i wouldn't make any stupid decisions. i didn't want to make the same mistakes. now i don't know how to give 100%.
i feel like i'm completely f#@*d.
maybe it's the wrong person.
maybe it's the wrong time.
maybe i'm just wrong.
i really hope to god that time will tell and i haven't just shot myself in the foot.
this moment sucks.