Sunday, January 13, 2008

change of heart

i missed him when i was away.
it was great to see him when i got back.
2 nights spent together... more intense than usual.
thought i might be into the whole relationship thing with this guy.
i was getting sentimental.

something switched.
maybe it was the sex in the bedroom, under the covers with the lights off. again.
maybe it was the disappointing excursion rock climbing.
maybe it was the bat in the cave.
maybe it was the smoking.
maybe it's the way he always has to be in control.

all the flaws are jumping out at me.
there's only a vague haze left of what i was attracted to.
maybe i was just attracted to me reflected in his eyes.
maybe i just needed a boost.
i'm now boosted.

i feel trapped.
i want sex, but not with him.
i want adventure.
i want variety.
i want sunshine.
i want spontaneity.
i want it my way.
i want hard body, lights on, in the kitchen, on the table.

i don't want this anymore.

but what do i do now? he's in mid fall.

4 comments:

skinny-rabbit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
nosiren said...

bat in the cave?

skinny-rabbit said...

Ok, life-twin, I'm trying to figure out how to let my redhead down easy. We should sit the two of them in a back to back booths in a restaurant and I'll talk to your guy and you talk to mine about how you and I are no longer interested in pursuing these relationships.

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