i'm in a shit mood. probably going through substance withdrawl. i feel like i just got back from being in "big brother - trapped in the muskokas". not that being at a cottage wasn't great. but too much emotional stress. a cottage can be relaxing. that's if you aren't there with your ex whom you are trying to be friends with/fighting with/occasionally fooling around with, and another couple who is on the verge of breaking up - all while doing 12 shows in 8 days with absolutely no days off prior to or during the run of the show. it also complicates things when you have a secret sordid past with another one of the cast members which gets drunkenly brought up at 530 in the morning after a night of debauchary. the icing on the "working vacation" (haha) are "i'm thinking of you" text messages coming from the ex ex ex ex ex ex boyfriend who has been hinting at getting back together.
why is it that now that i've actively decided to be single i'm dealing with more relationship bullshit than ever?
leftover love. i guess i have to deal with what's here before i can get on with anything new.
on the bright side - it seems that things with me and my recent ex will sort themselves out in time. and i'm sure everything else will settle by the end of the summer.
and now i just feel like doing absolutely nothing. but i'm about to go for a 30 min bike ride uphill in 35 degree weather.
am i crazy? possibly. but i just need to move. and running away is not an option. so i think i'll just exhaust myself.